Yahtzee
by Darkglare
Summary: A short tale about why Yahtzee should be the only game played among vampires and humans.  Bill pays the price.


Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from the books or True Blood. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

**Yahtzee**

Sophie-Anne had her bright moments, such as supporting the Great Revelation. As Queen of Louisiana, that meant big bucks for her since she ruled over the vampire capital of the world … in your face, Transylvania. Literally, because some really ugly vampires lived there, as in they needed a weed whacker to cut back on the growth of nose hair sprouting out of their nostrils. Who the fuck thought they needed a web cam for a video conference?

Anyway, it's not like Sophie-Anne would be expected to drink Tru Blood. That was for the little people. She had her procurement man taste the sample first. Bill Compton said it was tolerable, and she had been tricked into tasting it. Bleh! She spit it right back into his face. Idiot.

Luckily, that new girl, Hadley, was nearby. For a modern human and former drug addict, she tasted wonderful. Almost like the old days, but with a little something extra. Home grown in Louisiana, rather than imported from some pile of sticks without electricity or running water. Sophie-Anne had to find more of these. If she could place 'her' humans in other courts, just imagine what she'd find out.

After enjoying some fresh blood from Hadley, Sophie-Anne wiped her mouth, and declared, "Time for Yahtzee." She loved the game.

"Your Majesty ..." Bill implored.

She held up a hand, saying, "I said we are playing Yahtzee."

"But what about …?"

With a fake, little smile, Sophie-Anne reminded him, "You aren't even two hundred years old. Do you honestly expect me to share anything about what your superiors are up to? Do you think I need your advice?"

Bill opened his mouth, and replied, "I simply wanted to point out that if this substance is what the Japanese claim it is, that our need to feed from humans is over."

With a sneer, she said, "Oh, thank you. I wouldn't have thought of that myself."

She took the cup, filled it, shook and rolled out the dice. Hmm, not a good start, but she was undeterred and threw some dice back in for another roll. It was still early.

They continued playing, and would until Sophie-Anne was the clear winner.

"Yahtzee," Bill said in his boring monotone.

"Again?" shrieked Sophie-Anne.

"Apparently. Yahtzee is the most egalitarian game in the world," he responded, quoting his monarch.

"What do you know about egalitarian? You can barely pronounce it. I'm French, and I was there when it was invented."

She scooped up the dice, and then growled in frustration as her score was recorded.

"Yahtzee," was repeated multiple times by Bill, till Sophie-Anne flung the dice cup across the room.

"I want to do something else."

The others looked at each other, they always played Yahtzee. Yahtzee was the only game they played.

Hadley opened her mouth, waited till she got a nod from the Queen, and asked, "What about Jenga?"

"What is that?"

"It's wooden blocks piled up. You take one from the bottom and put it on the top, until it falls over."

Sophie-Anne pointed a finger at Bill, "Get me Jenga."

"You want me …?"

"You procure so get procuring."

Bill returned a short while later with a Toys R Us bag containing the party game 'the original Jenga'.

"Well?" Sophie-Anne impatiently said.

Hadley responded, "Don't dump it out. If it's put away right, all someone needs to do to play is just slide it out of the box." She demonstrated how to get it out of the box, and a tall, rectangular tower composed of rectangular wooden blocks emerged. "Okay, so now, we each take a turn going around the table. If it's my turn, I slide one of these out, then put it on top."

After she placed the block, she said, "You can only use one hand, and the only blocks you can't move are the ones just below the top level. Anything else is fair to move."

"For my turn, I only move one block?" Sophie-Anne asked.

"Yes, but as the game goes on, it becomes less stable as more blocks are missing from the bottom."

The blocks toppled over on Sophie-Anne's turn. Annoyed, she slammed her fist to the table, and some of the Jenga blocks went flying. Hadley ducked.

Bill took one to the chest, and was staked.

"This game blows," Sophie-Anne said, before yelling, "Someone clean this up."

She stood and said, "C'mon, Hadley, let me show you how strip Yahtzee is played."


End file.
